You NEED This to Improve or Recover

Whether you want to overcome anxiety, stress, panic & related issues, or any other big challenges in life, Acceptance is the crucial first step before you can achieve positive change and growth. But acceptance is something many people misunderstand at first.

There’s a lot to say about acceptance but I’ll give you my best ‘101’ explanation.

Acceptance is the opposite of denial. To accept something does not mean we like, enjoy or condone it; it just means instead of denying it, we accept its existence and the reality of that.

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Do you “Hedge” how you feel?

I’d like to help you feel better generally, and protect your emotional state from the inevitable ups and downs in life; to ‘hedge’ how you feel. I’ve found this to be a simple but powerful concept that’s helped me countless times.

1. Let’s imagine you have only one major pursuit in life, such as your job. All jobs have their ups and downs, so when the job’s going better, you’ll generally feel better; when it’s more difficult or boring or otherwise negative, you feel worse. Here you’re not protected or hedged in any way: You’re riding the unpredictable ups and downs of your job and generally, this leads to ups and downs in how you feel.

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Productivity Rocket Fuel: Emotional Incentives

Our mind generates emotions to incentivise our behaviour; emotion is how the mind motivates us to take action.

That’s important because in my experience, one of the biggest ‘missing pieces’ when my people are lacking drive to get things done, or struggling to beat procrastination, is not harnessing their emotions for their productivity.

You might know you need to complete that piece of work, but you might not have engaged with much emotional incentive to do so. The result is a lack of drive to do the work, even though you know you should.

If that sounds like you, the key is often in tapping into whatever gives you an emotional desire – or emotional kick up the backside – to take that action.

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Release Anger Healthily [How-To]

Most people express anger in ways that harms their health: Suppression, repression, or rage. 

Read on to learn about those three unhealthy practices, and what you can do instead to release anger healthily (which I believe can be used for other emotions, too).

I first learned about this in Gabor Maté’s When the Body Says No, chapter 19.

Most people harm their health with ‘abnormal’ expression of anger

Gabor Maté and many other practitioners (e.g. the late medical doctor John Sarno) have found that abnormal expression of emotion, especially anger, can contribute to bad health and illness. Maté describes two ‘abnormal’ ways of expressing anger: 

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The Anxiety Shapeshifter [Eco-Anxiety] [Health Anxiety]

Stress and anxiety are very good at spreading from one context to another without us realising.

It’s a bit like the mythical “shapeshifter”, Harry Potter style, changing its form to fit into different situations.

Suppose we’re having a particularly difficult time at work, with emotions riding high. Heart rate might be raised, our thinking less clear.

What happens when we get home and stop thinking about work?

If we still have some stress and anxiety ‘hanging in the background’, the mind may keep looking for reasons for feeling that stress and anxiety.

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Panic & Anxiety Attacks – The Hidden Cause

Panic & anxiety attacks might seem to happen “for no apparent reason” – but hidden ‘behind the scenes’ there’s a common underlying cause.

Some people experience them more strongly than others, and they typically include symptoms like:

  • A feeling of panic or anxiety, sometimes doom or fear of death
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Chest pains
  • Lightheadedness and shortness of breath / a sense you can’t breathe enough air (caused by hyperventilation)

Panic and anxiety attacks occur due to a type of issue involving our unconscious mind1, which you could think about as an “unconscious malfunction”.

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Anxiety 101 – What actually is anxiety?

Stress and anxiety are very closely linked, in more ways than one. In fact, exactly how they relate to each other can be confusing!

To understand anxiety, first you need to understand stress and stress-related symptoms.

Stress can lead to many different symptoms, some psychological and some physical. The range of symptoms is huge and varied. Some of these symptoms occur for only a short time period; others seem to start after a prolonged period of stress and may be chronic in nature.

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Stress 101 – What actually is stress?

Even amongst scientists, the word “stress” has no single definition. Sometimes people use ‘stress’ to describe what’s going on inside us (thoughts, emotions, and physical responses) and sometimes they use it to describe the problems we face (anything from daily irritations to major life challenges2 2.

How can we explain stress when there’s no single definition?

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I don’t feel “stressed” or “anxious”… But could I have a stress or anxiety problem?

Years ago, when a cardiologist first suggested I had stress and anxiety, I felt completely misunderstood. I’d never felt ‘stressed’ or ‘anxious’ in a significant way, so it felt like an absurd suggestion.


But I later learned that everybody experiences stress differently – in fact some people don’t feel ‘stressed’ at all, while others may feel viscerally “stressed out” or “anxious”.  The same goes for physical symptoms:  Everyone’s different.

Yes, there are emotions or feelings we call “stress”, “anxiety”, and “panic”.  But those are different to the health issues of stress, anxiety and panic:  And the former don’t necessarily come together with the latter.

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About QCH: Why I trained in Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy

Full disclosure: As a QCH therapist myself, I’m obviously biased on this topic :). But I’ll go ahead and tell you why I chose this approach to therapy, and why I continue to think it’s one of the most effective approaches available.


For the last two decades Quest Institute has positioned itself at the forefront of therapy and coaching, with the development and continued growth of Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy (QCH).

In a nutshell, QCH is a cutting-edge, evidence-based approach that integrates many of the most effective approaches from the world of therapy, neuro-linguistic programming, hypnotherapy and coaching.

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